Born Againer?

Woah woah wee wah.
[[borat. haha.]]

So here I am. Waiting for JerBear to get off work so I can drag my ass over to Grandma's (also his grandma, I just barely decided that I'm adopting her as my new grandma since I don't have a grandma anymore) and clean her god damn house. She's moving to some new trailer park or whatever and she's excited that she has a porch to sit on. Haha. Oh, Grandma.

But do you wanna know what I really wanna do?
I want to dye my hair, paint my nails, and make myself feel a little prettier. I want to grab some coffee, smoke a cigarette and take some GOOD pictures. Not just the half assed ones I've been putting up with lately. But gueesss what. I got no inspiration. Nothin! Fuck.

And I have to quit smoking with JerBear and NathanBrain by July 1st cuz that's when they raise the prices for cigarettes. Ah, well. It's bad for me anyways. Hopefully if I get my job at subway I can start paying for hand soap and shampoo, because that's something someone always forgets to buy at the house. It really gets on my nerves when I get in the shower, I'm all wet and nakey, I grab the shampoo bottle and WHAT. THE. HELL. An empty shampoo bottle sitting in the shower?! Is that necessary?! Judas Priest!

I feel like if I don't let some of my creativity out, I'm going to absolutely explode.
Actually, I just feel generally insane lately.
Lately? I'm always insane. A dream about zombiez having a seminar. And yes, zombiez is spelled with a 'z' at the end. A dream about my little sister and I getting kidnapped by our fifth grade teacher. A dream about JerBear slicing off my legs with a knife and then peeling the skin off of my shoulder blades. These dreams. They're outta control, dude! I'm tired of waking up sweating and scared. I need to remember to take my medications more often.

um. how are you?!

Maybe you're wondering how I've been doing because the last blog I wrote...was not a very positive one. Then again, I'm a pretty depressed human being. haha.
Things are getting better. Guess what. I'm a 'born againer'.
Yup. I've found Jesus.
My best girl friend makes fun of me for it all the time because she tells me God isn't real and yadda yadda yadda. But he is real, thank you very much. I go to church every Sunday now, I have been going for about a month now. It's not the LDS church like my family goes to, it's the Oasis Vineyard Church. I'd never heard of it, but JerBear got me to start going and I love it. Even my family said that I seem happier since I've been going.

I just need to work on having a better attitude.

And I'm finally doing things for myself. :)
No longer for others.
For me.