The Young and the Homeless

I saw a guy do cocaine for the first time ever.

We'll get to that in a second.

The tent outreach was on Sunday. Jerry and I have been putting together that project, you all probably know about it. Giving out tents and blankets to the homeless.

The experience...wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Every time I go downtown, I see a homeless person. You can't go to the mall or Burger King without seeing a homeless person asking for spare change. It's bull shit, really. Everyone says 'that's life' or 'they reap what they sow', but no. It's bull shit. I don't think anyone should be homeless. Someone could be fucked up on meth every single day and I still don't think they deserve to be homeless.

We got all the tents together, said a prayer, split up into groups of four, and off we went.

I was with Jerry and two other people.

I'm not the most outgoing person ever. I can be, it just depends on the situation. I'm not usually comfortable with just going up to a stranger and start talking. Now I feel like an idiot because the entire time we were talking to homeless people I hardly opened my mouth. I stood there like a dumb ass, my nerves racked, just about ready to have a panic attack. Talking to people, being around so many people....I was a little freaked out.

The first hour and a half was really discouraging. We walked around and couldn't find anyone to talk to.

There was a man sitting on the side of the road with a backpack and an scraggly beard. Jerry walked up and asked him if he was here to get food from the soup kitchen.

The guy just shakes his head and says, "Nah, I'm just getting some cocaine."

And then he whips out his crack pipe and starts smokin. I'm like....damn! I've never seen anyone do crack-cocaine before. I've seen the after-effects of pretty much everything. Heroin, meth, down to something as 'little' as marijuana. (Don't get me started on weed. I fucking hate that stupid shit.) But I've never seen someone do any hard drug before.

This guy just whips it out because it's an everyday thing.

Like he was just eating a candy bar on the bench in the park.

Alright. Welp, you have a nice day, sir.

And we bounced out to go find more people that need help.

I would have been willing to wait til he's done doin his drugs to talk to him, but he didn't seem very interested. I don't blame him. Who needs God, friends, or happiness when cocaine will do the trick for a little while?

We gave out every single tent. 20 tents. We helped over twenty homeless people, giving them blankets if they needed them, backpacks, and we weren't supposed to hand out money but a couple people did anyways.

I felt like a useless piece of shit. I wanted this thing to go over so well, and it did. But maybe I'm being selfish. I wanted to feel included, like I was actually doing something. The only thing I did was put up fifty bucks to help pay for expenses. That's it. I didn't talk to someone who is homeless, I didn't give anyone the coat off my back, I just stood there like a stupid fucking idiot. I sold maybe TWO bracelets for the fund raiser while Jerry and other sold over ten.

Maybe I'm being selfish. But I just wanted to help.

This project was mine and Jerry's idea.

We started this whole thing.

And the only thing I did was put up money.

Jerry said, "Oh no, this thing couldn't have happened without you."

I don't believe that for a second. Everything would have been fine without me. I didn't sell any bracelets, I didn't talk to any of the homeless people. I could have been non-existent and it wouldn't have mattered.

I wanted to do something good.

I wanted to feel like I'd really made a difference.

But nobody really even needed me, or noticed me.

The Worst Person I Ever Met

Nor hell a fury like a red head scorned.

Not really. But you know.

I met him last week.
I'm glad I only had to see him one time.
His name is Steve. Which is ironic, it seems that every Steve or Steven I meet is a complete asshole. (With the exception of Uncle Steve. haha.) If you want to know about the original Steven and why he sucks, you can click here. But I'll warn you, it's heartbreaking.

It was girls day. :)
I absolutely love girls day.
It was winding down, getting to be around 10:00 pm. But me and my girl don't sleep yet! Hell no. We're never done having fun. We get in the car and drive around. Turn on the music and turn up A Day to Remember. I'm craving a hug from Jesse, a cigarette, and some coffee. Unfortunately Jesse doesn't answer his phone. Coffee it is. We're going to go meet Steve for coffee at Denny's.
I haven't heard one good thing about Steve except for the fact that he's good looking. Well, so was Original Steven, so who fucking cares about looks. But my girl friend, Drina, wants us to get along so I try to be nice. For about 10 minutes. Until he opened his mouth and I had to listen to all the bull shit. I just about fucking lost it.

The restaurant smells like greasy food and coffee and we get a booth seat. Steve's slightly older, he has dark brown hair and eyes as black as my coffee. His smile curls around his face like a snake and I want to punch him until he stops smiling. I can feel my anger starting to boil. Names and faces flash through my head. The Original Steven. Jordan. Andrew. All those guys that used me. Their snaked smiles are racing through my mind. All I can see is red and I know I'm going to lose it soon.

Then his bitch shows up.

Let me explain. Drina works with Steve. She has kind of a thing for him. Sure, he's charming. He's good looking. But there's something completely wrong about this guy. Red lights are going off in my head as a warning.
Sofia is his 'ex'-girlfriend. I don't believe that for a second.
She shows up, sits across the table from us but right next to Steve. "What the hell is this?" She demands an explanation. And he excuses himself to go calm down his raging lady. She leaves. I don't know how he does it, but he convinces her that there's nothing to worry about.
"I don't know why she's so clingy, I try to get her to leave but she won't. I don't want to kick her out on the street."
Drina goes, "She loves you."
He shakes his head, "No, no. I don't think she does."
I go, "Oh she loves you. I don't have any fucking idea why she'd love you, but she does."
Steve smiles at me and I half expected there to be creepy crawlies in his teeth, like a shot from the movie The Grinch. "I've never told her I loved her. Never."
"BULL SHIT, STEVE. I'll bet you anything you tell her that you love her and that she means everything to you, just to get her off your fucking back."
"Okay, okay yeah. I tell her I love her to get her to chill."
"You're fucking sick." I practically spat the words into his face."
"You think you know about love? Huh?"
I said, "I've been around the block."
And he said, "You're young. You know nothing of love. There's no such thing."
Drina has to put a hand on my arm because I'm shaking with rage. This guy is just like Original Steven. He's got it written all over his face. And I don't want Drina to have anything to do with this creep. No such thing as love? You might as well slap me in the face. Love has a lot of meaning to me and plays a huge role in my life.

"Relax, relax, every thing's fine." He says.
"Relax? You want me to relax? My best girl friend has a thing for you and when we go out for coffee YOUR FUCKING BITCH shows up. Just proves to me that you are nothing but an asshole."

When I get that angry, which happens about once a year, I start to see pure red. And I have a hard time controlling myself.
I went outside and sat on the bench.
There were a couple of young guys walking past.
They started to cat call at me. "Look, Jake. A red head!"
"Oooh! Hey! Hey you! Wanna go out with me? Your red hair is sexy!"
Normally I would have just ignored them and not worried about it. But I was at the breaking point. I yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

Drina and Steven get the message that I'm done here and that I want to leave. They come outside and I have a hard time making eye contact with anyone. I'm shaking and it's cold outside but I don't even have goosebumps. I'm shaking with more anger than I ever thought could be possible. He turns to me and says 'Have a good night.'
But I've already turned around and I yell, "FUCK YOU," as I'm walking back towards the car.

I love being Idiotic

Reasons why I should not have all nighters:
I go down a slide at the park and there's water at the bottom of the slide. My pants get wet so I decide to take the damn things off and run around in my God Damn boxers. Then me and Mr. Mud decide to stay up...while everyone else naps. This is the outcome.






Then this is me and my wife being ridiculous while her father records us:
(sorry it's sideways)


Reasons why I should not be given too much sugar while in the company of my little sister:
(We later edited it and sped it up for a funnier outcome. :])


We're weird. I know. But my butt looks good in this.