Becki Bible: January 2012

Photos from January. :)

Sparks and Wilson <3

Pirates at Natalie's Birthday Bash!

This. Mustache.

:)

FACE

My love for dollar menu burgers

Me being awkward in front of the camera

It was snowing. :)

Smoke break with Charles

Sherry <3

January 4, 2012

"Every time your mom sees you, she wishes she swallowed you." -Chris Jewface

Today I sat on the bathroom floor and listened to music and cried. It was a good day.

Jonathan: Mutha fukkin gwahm cwackers

Me: Cwackers?

Jonathan: I was trying to make it sound like a thug, and a little kid at the same time.

Me: How many 3 year old thugs do you know?

"JEAN! STAIRS! STAIRS, JEAN!" -Jonathan

Jan. 9, 2012

Susan: Don't you love google? I fucking love google!

Me: ...what are you on?

Susan: I'm on google.

Jan. 10, 2012

I hate the American Dream. It's supposed to be, you know, you can be whoever you want and do whatever you want. Well it's a lie. I can't be a fucking mermaid and I can't be a famous author. I can't be a famous painter or playwright. I can't sew a bunch of crafty shit and get rich. The American Dream is, 'you can be something: if you qualify for it. And you probably don't qualify.' Fuck you, American Dream.

Noted similarity between my dog and I: we both like to sit in front of heater vents.

Jan. 13, 2012

I'm so socially awesome. Whenever I feel lonely, I just text my dad...even though he barely knows how to text.

Jan. 14, 2012

So I was doing Lizzie's make-up so she would look like a pirate wench for Natalie's party.....

Lizzie: I look like a whore.

Me: What do you think a pirate wench is?! And besides, I do my make up similar to this every day. What are you trying to say about that?

Lizzie: That you look like a who-

Me: *glare*

Lizzie: A wh-wunderful young lady!.....who has giggity fun with pirates.

Me: *glare*

Lizzie: Playing chess!

Billy: Let me have one of your energy drinks.

Me: You have a problem. So no!

Billy: I do not have a problem! I have an addiction!

Jan. 21, 2012

So today is gonna be a lonely day. Everything just reminds me that I'm alone. Natalie is going on a date, Lizzie's going on a date.... Even my mom and Christian went on like a mother-son date thing. My dad is sleeping on the couch with the tv going. It's raining outside. It only makes me feel more gloomy. But part of me wants to go for a walk in the awful weather.  I would be by myself though.

~2 hours later~

So I cooked bacon to cheer myself up. And it fuckin worked.

Me: Lizzie, you can't put your phone down for ten minutes can you?

Lizzie: I need to talk to Jimmy.

Me: I can do it. Look. I took the battery out and I won't touch my phone for ten minutes.

Lizzie: You don't have friends.

Me:

Lizzie:

Me: Go away.

My dad: Why isn't this light working? I just changed it yesterday!

Me: Is the wiring bad?

My dad: No, the tombstones must be bad.

Me: Is that because....they're 'dead'?

My dad:

Me: HAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOSH I'M HILARIOUS

Spider-man designed and made one badass costume for himself. I think he should start his own clothing line.

Jan. 28, 2011

Me: Sparks, I have no friends.

My dog: 

Me: Yeah, my friend bailed on our plans last night so I feel kind of abandoned.

My dog:

Me: You're lucky. In order for you to make friends, you sniff another dog's ass and you guys are BFF for life.

My dog: *whines*

Me: Yeah, you're my best friend too, huh?

My dog: *walks away*

Me: THIS IS WHY I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES, OKAY?

Robert: Yeah! JC wins!

Me: Did you just say 'Jewish Stevens?"

Robert: What?!

Me: Jewish Stevens, it's your turn.