Click Here For Other Becki Bible Excerpts
April 2, 2011
"Why don't you take a step back, take off your gladiator sandals, and we'll talk about this." -Robert
April 3, 2011
"I like saggy necks. I don't care how weird that sounds." -Africa
"Life is funny." -Africa
April 8, 2011
"I don't have drugs, we're not prostitutes, and we're gonna miss our train!" -Africa
•I fucking hate automatic toilets that flush when I'm not done peeing.
Adrianna: I really hope I don't get the crawlies
Me: CRABS?!
Adrianna: Just watch. He's not gonna wash his hands.
Me: *gasp* HE'S THE ONE!
April 10, 2011
"Reefus pups, reefus pups!" -Me
"Phil Collins is driving with his knees!" -Africa
"I've never sang Adam Lambert to a cow before." -Africa
Adrianna: Look how drunk you are in this picture!"
Me: Holy fuck! It's time to look like that again!
"If I drink enough beer, I won't feel my uterus anymore." -Me
"This jews is cold on my thighs." -Me
"Have patience, my glass hopper." -Mr. Kallas
"Bump my ass?" -Adrianna
"Walk! It's okay! Come on!" -Doyle
April 12, 2011
•How can one be so oblivious? Seriously?!
Africa: I'm an extreme driver.
Me: I'm an extreme passenger.
"I like your big toe." -Me
Watching basketball, hating on Kobe and brewskis with the wife. That's all I need! I'm set!
"I see you peed yourself today." -Africa
"I wanted to be friends, but all I got is fuckin Leo Sher! That bitch." -Africa
"Eerie wicky." -Africa
"No need to get all ranchy!" -Africa
Me: The mirrors in the bathroom make you look fat.
Adrianna: I'm glad they don't lie. Like Shakira's hips.
April 21, 2011
Had a discussion with a friend today-
Me: OMG GUESS WHAT.
Him: Hmm?
Me: I think I have a tumor on my face.
Him: Becki...we've been over this...that's your nose.
Me: No, I'm being serious! It's this weird lump-
Him: That's your nose.
Me: Shut upt! It's a weird lump that really hurts and it's right by my eye-
Him: That's definitely your nose.
Me: I'm gonna fucking kill you.
April 26, 2011
Me: How was your shave?
Africa: It was horrible. I hate that ADTR song.
FourFuckinTwentySeven, 2011
I just saw the most gorgeous man ever. Eating cake.
"It's not sex if it's plastic." -Robert
April 28, 2011
Derek: So Becki, you got a job yet.
Me: No.
Robert: It's called friendship, it's a full-time job!
April 2, 2011
"Why don't you take a step back, take off your gladiator sandals, and we'll talk about this." -Robert
April 3, 2011
"I like saggy necks. I don't care how weird that sounds." -Africa
"Life is funny." -Africa
April 8, 2011
"I don't have drugs, we're not prostitutes, and we're gonna miss our train!" -Africa
•I fucking hate automatic toilets that flush when I'm not done peeing.
Adrianna: I really hope I don't get the crawlies
Me: CRABS?!
Adrianna: Just watch. He's not gonna wash his hands.
Me: *gasp* HE'S THE ONE!
April 10, 2011
"Reefus pups, reefus pups!" -Me
"Phil Collins is driving with his knees!" -Africa
"I've never sang Adam Lambert to a cow before." -Africa
Adrianna: Look how drunk you are in this picture!"
Me: Holy fuck! It's time to look like that again!
"If I drink enough beer, I won't feel my uterus anymore." -Me
"This jews is cold on my thighs." -Me
"Have patience, my glass hopper." -Mr. Kallas
"Bump my ass?" -Adrianna
"Walk! It's okay! Come on!" -Doyle
April 12, 2011
•How can one be so oblivious? Seriously?!
Africa: I'm an extreme driver.
Me: I'm an extreme passenger.
"I like your big toe." -Me
Watching basketball, hating on Kobe and brewskis with the wife. That's all I need! I'm set!
"I see you peed yourself today." -Africa
"I wanted to be friends, but all I got is fuckin Leo Sher! That bitch." -Africa
"Eerie wicky." -Africa
"No need to get all ranchy!" -Africa
Me: The mirrors in the bathroom make you look fat.
Adrianna: I'm glad they don't lie. Like Shakira's hips.
April 21, 2011
Had a discussion with a friend today-
Me: OMG GUESS WHAT.
Him: Hmm?
Me: I think I have a tumor on my face.
Him: Becki...we've been over this...that's your nose.
Me: No, I'm being serious! It's this weird lump-
Him: That's your nose.
Me: Shut upt! It's a weird lump that really hurts and it's right by my eye-
Him: That's definitely your nose.
Me: I'm gonna fucking kill you.
April 26, 2011
Me: How was your shave?
Africa: It was horrible. I hate that ADTR song.
FourFuckinTwentySeven, 2011
I just saw the most gorgeous man ever. Eating cake.
"It's not sex if it's plastic." -Robert
April 28, 2011
Derek: So Becki, you got a job yet.
Me: No.
Robert: It's called friendship, it's a full-time job!
Holy shit Robert is hilarious!
ReplyDelete