I'm either drunk or hungover.

I'm slipping, I'm falling.

I'm either constantly drunk or constantly hungover, preparing to drink more. Obviously that isn't a good thing. I just fucking crave that buzz that brings a smile to my face when nothing else can. It's not the best time for me to slip and fall. I need to be getting my shit together, I need to get ready, I need to fucking do something with my life besides eat popcorn and cry at stupid movies. I need to go to North Dakota. I need to be living off of ramen noodles because I work a minimum wage job and I have to pay the bills. I need to find the spot to place my foot when I walk. I can't stop thinking about how much of a fucking loser I am. I can't stop thinking about the way I allowed people to treat me. I won't let myself be used like that again.

I can't even stand on my own right now. And it's not because I'm drunk.