FUCK JOB SEARCHING.
I feel like such a god damn failure. I never graduated high school and I don't have a GED. Who wants to hire me? Nobody. Really. Nobody. It's not like I can't do the job! I am capable of doing a lot! But if you don't have a GED or a diploma, you're fucked.
There's no way I'm going back to school. There's no way I could ever go to college.
Why, you ask?
Because ever since I was little I hated school. I was the loser and the loner. Do you know what kind of effect that has on a person? Being alone for many years of your life? It's hell. I used to sluff class just to sit in the bathrooms and cry because I didn't know why people didn't like me. Sure, I have friends now. Not very many, though. I'm still kind of a loser.
I'm feeling so discouraged. My parents and my therapist want me to find a job, but it's basically fucking impossible. I know my parents want me to move out and be a happy adult blah blah blah. I can't move out because I don't have a god damn job. I can't get a god damn job because I don't have a GED. I can't get a GED because I'll probably have a mental breakdown or something and do something extremely stupid. My last mental breakdown didn't go over so well.
So, please excuse my french but
FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!
I needed to get that out.
There's no way I'm going back to school. There's no way I could ever go to college.
Why, you ask?
Because ever since I was little I hated school. I was the loser and the loner. Do you know what kind of effect that has on a person? Being alone for many years of your life? It's hell. I used to sluff class just to sit in the bathrooms and cry because I didn't know why people didn't like me. Sure, I have friends now. Not very many, though. I'm still kind of a loser.
I'm feeling so discouraged. My parents and my therapist want me to find a job, but it's basically fucking impossible. I know my parents want me to move out and be a happy adult blah blah blah. I can't move out because I don't have a god damn job. I can't get a god damn job because I don't have a GED. I can't get a GED because I'll probably have a mental breakdown or something and do something extremely stupid. My last mental breakdown didn't go over so well.
So, please excuse my french but
FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!
I needed to get that out.
Sorry you're having such trouble. It doesn't help that most establishments require one or the other. Strength sure doesn't come easy..
ReplyDeleteSorry your day sux. Don't give up. And school doesn't have to be a personality contest. Keep your mind and your options open.
ReplyDeleteNot to seem like a shriveled up piece of ham, but maybe you should BE more positive regarding things you want for your life. We are what we believe in. Failure than we fail. Winner than we win. It's like who CARES what THEY want me to do, it's my life, the most imporant thing is that I'm happy with my furture and life right now. Just because you didn't finish high school doesn't necessarily detemine what you're to become in the future....never think your current situation STATES your life jounrey. Not so! You seem like a COOL person in your post......
ReplyDeleteBut don't be so hard on yourself, I speak from experience! The harder we are on ourselves is sometimes when we doubt ourselves.......be a winner, speak what you want.....it doens't have to make sense it just has to INSPIRE and make you happy. That's how I do. I controll my LIFE, not what others THINK my life should be.
Peace.
May I suggest a favorite "Chick Flik"? Alien! or Aliens!
ReplyDeleteis there courses online u could take? i hate school too, i totally hear u! you could always freelance if u like writing or taking pictures. nobody ask too many questions <3
ReplyDelete