I wish
I had friends that actually understood me.
And maybe even cared for me.
But wait, oh yeah, I remember now.
That's fucking impossible.
I usually like being different.
Today, I just want to be fucking normal.
I had friends that actually understood me.
And maybe even cared for me.
But wait, oh yeah, I remember now.
That's fucking impossible.
That's the thing about being me. No one fucking gets me. I'm so different that when I speak my mind or when I'm myself people get that look on their face like: What the fuck is this chick saying?
Two days ago, I was out bowling with friends.
I was having fun and being myself. Being myself means I was making silly faces, being loud, doing stupid dance moves whenever I got a strike (which was almost never) and I guess I shouldn't have been doing that. One of my friends said, "Oh my gosh. You're so weird. Just be normal. I like it when you're normal." Fuck. Really? Those words slapped me hard across the face. I sat down on the bench and had to bite my lip to keep the tears back.
Yesterday I went to alpha. I was super pumped for some spiritually uplifting lessons. But nope! I just left super confused. So I went over to Jerry's house to talk to him some more about the lesson. We ended up just hanging out for awhile which was chill. He started to talk about how he and Drina hang out all the time...which I already knew. She talks about him all the time. And I got jealous. She's my best friend, not yours. I started crying and Jerry let me cry on his shoulder while I pathetically bawled all over him because my friends don't seem to like me anymore. Except for maybe RobertBFF and I don't even know what he's been up to.
Two days ago, I was out bowling with friends.
I was having fun and being myself. Being myself means I was making silly faces, being loud, doing stupid dance moves whenever I got a strike (which was almost never) and I guess I shouldn't have been doing that. One of my friends said, "Oh my gosh. You're so weird. Just be normal. I like it when you're normal." Fuck. Really? Those words slapped me hard across the face. I sat down on the bench and had to bite my lip to keep the tears back.
Yesterday I went to alpha. I was super pumped for some spiritually uplifting lessons. But nope! I just left super confused. So I went over to Jerry's house to talk to him some more about the lesson. We ended up just hanging out for awhile which was chill. He started to talk about how he and Drina hang out all the time...which I already knew. She talks about him all the time. And I got jealous. She's my best friend, not yours. I started crying and Jerry let me cry on his shoulder while I pathetically bawled all over him because my friends don't seem to like me anymore. Except for maybe RobertBFF and I don't even know what he's been up to.
It's not like I'm a fucking psycho. I'm not a satanist, I don't worship Egyptian gods, I don't eat weird food combinations, hell I don't even talk different from other people.
I definitely act different though.
I'm not like everyone else.
I usually like being different.
Today, I just want to be fucking normal.
That guy who told you to be normal is a big fat jerk. I don't care who he is, friends don't act like that to their friends. Don't let what he said bug you, because he obviously isn't worth your time!!! Seriously. I'd go bowling with you and you could act like a monkey the whole night for all I care. (Even if I don't act like one too. That's just me. Lizzie will be weird with you!) And as a reminder. God gets you. ALWAYS. He's the only one who will always understand you 100% without any difficulty. So keep up the prayers and let him know how crappy these friends are and say you need some more good ones. :)
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