I guess someone found my Becki Bible, my journal. :'(
and I wish it would have stayed lost forever.
If it had to be found, it should have been found by a stranger, by someone who didn't know who 'Becki' is.
Unfortunately someone found it. They know who I am. And they hold all of my secrets in their very hands. I feel so vulnerable, so ashamed, so frustrated.
It gets worse. They had to reveal my secrets.
These fucking tears won't stop. :(
oh my goodness..i know what that feels like :(
ReplyDeleteit'll pass!
Oh not cool..
ReplyDeleteI once read that there is nothing new under the sun. If one has the audacity to steal and misuse your heart, they probably have the same issues to deal with but aren't ready to face them.
ReplyDeleteYour tears will stop... in the meantime, there are quiet arms around you holding you, and understanding what you are going through because they went through them also.
My oldest spiritual brother was spit upon, and laughed at, and beaten, and killed by a group of beings who sound like this person who stole your inner heart.
He said to his father to forgive them, for they didn't understand.
These words won't be comforting now, and I don't pretend to say that they will be for you. But someday you will get them, and beleive it or not, they will be tied into the "research" you are doing on love... you can easily see the dark and horrible side to it right now. The opposite side of the coin... the hate and contempt.
There is a deeper, and more poignant meaning that you will find.
Forgive, for they know not what they do.
I've been here Little One. The tears do come to an end... and that which seems real but isn't will melt away, and what is real and honest and the true form of love that you will desire will materialize when you are ready for it.
As always... Hugs!