There are a lot of dysfunctional people in this world. In some ways, it seems like I take the cake when it comes to dysfunctional. I don't want this to sound like a pity party, but maybe it is. I hate that I have no privacy and on top of that, I keep trying o make all of my friends and family happy. I feel stretched and worn.
My intimacy problems bother me. It's really hard for me to get close to people emotionally. Physically seems to be out of the question. Whenever I'm reminded of the hurt that was done to me, the crack in my heart starts to bleed all over again.
I can't fix myself.
I don't know when I stopped being normal. Maybe I never was.
Sometimes I’m jealous of drug addicts that do drugs to feel normal. Not even drugs help me feel normal. I never feel normal.
Then again, I would hate myself if I felt normal. I don't want to be normal.
How can you want to be something but never want it, at the same time?
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