Feb. 6, 2011
"Believing isn't wishing...what you know with your heart is the only thing you really ever know." -Dean Koontz
There's something a man should NEVER say to his girlfriend.
"Are you wearing that tonight?"
No. Now I'm not. Now I feel like an ugly fuck after changing three different times, trying to impress you.
Feb. 8, 2011
Robert and I walk into the Salt Lake City Court House.
Robert: Do you smell that?
Me: What?
Robert: It's the smell of justice!
I'm having a hard time going to church functions. It's so awkward. I feel like my relationships with everyone there are so shallow. I know all these people care about me, I just don't think they quite understand me. I don't know if they want to understand me.
Feb. 10, 2011
"I definitely don't secretly have a penis." - Me
Robert wrote a rap. I fucking love it.
It's called
"Gum in My Hair"
Chew chew another pack of bubble
chew chew another back of trouble
fresh from my head to my shirt all the way down to my boot,
I've been loyal to this game since my first pack of juicy fruit
I've been all around the world from here to there,
Livin my life to the fullest without a care,
But now I got everyone to stop and stare,
Cuz I look like a fool with this gum in my hair
Chorus: Another day another dollar another pack of chew
Reppin my attire in my red white n' blue
Doin everything and not goin anywhere
with me lookin like a fool with this gum in my hair
[[hahahahahahaha!!]]
Feb. 12, 2011
"I gotta pee like a fuckin pregnant bitch on crack in the desert." DJ-D-REK
Feb. 17, 2011
"I dare you to groove." -Robert
Feb. 22, 2011
Me: "Jerry, why are people so stupid?"
Jerry: "SEND THEM TO THE SNAKE PIT!"
Feb. 27, 2011
Why is Maybelline's slogan 'Maybe she's born with it'? If she was born with it...then she wouldn't need make up. Right?
-What a moment in history! Robert ate mayo today!
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