Research on True Love: STILL IN PROGRESS

I didn't know this project would be so hard. I feel like I've taken a bite out of something more than I can handle.

I didn't think about it before, but I can't research and ask questions and think and ponder, without first confronting my past and my personal feelings on true love.

That's the hard part.

Love is...so many things to me it's hard to know where to start.
I tasted it for the first time when I was sixteen. [[click here]] It was exciting, it was mysterious, it was beautiful. I fell in love with love itself. I didn't see the dark shadows love might hold, I didn't ask questions, I just loved. Back then, my love was more pure than it ever has been since.

After that experience, love is one big whirlwind for me. Memories float up from the bottom of my mind in a haunting manner, making me face the memories I pushed away. The dulled pain of heartbreak resurfaces when I start to remember.
The tears falling onto my shirt when I tell him to leave me alone forever.
Smiling when I hear a love song on the radio.
Time suspended in photographs of us.
The taste of the sweetest kiss on my lips.
The bedtime stories.
Waking up with a smile on my face.
Wishing he would call.
Drinking whiskey to dull the pain when he left.
The silly faces.
The adventures.

Love.
Is so many innumerable things.

I've made my share of mistakes, in the name of love. Were any of my experiences true love, though? My first love was as close as it gets, I think. I don't think I've experienced true love. If I'd experienced true love, I'd probably know it.

My great grandma had love at first sight. She saw my grandpa walk into the room, leaned over to the person sitting next to her and said, "I'm going to marry that man." And BAM she did. I'm a total believer in love at first sight. Nobody else does. That belief is almost dead. haha. It seems like I'm the biggest romantic on the planet. lol

Research on True Love: IN PROGRESS

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
- Mark Twain

The research on True Love is under way! And yes, I've done lots of research because it's been on my mind. A LOT.
Ready?


1 Cor. 13 4-8 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever..."

↑↑
That's pretty upfront and straight to the point. My favorite is 'Love does not demand its own way'. For real real.
I still have more study I need to do with the bible. You have no idea how many times the word 'love' shows up in the bible.

If you ask Etta James what true love is...from her song At Last, she'll say:
"My lonely days are over. And life is like a song."

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown

"To love another person is to see the face of god." -- Les Miserables

"So many definitions and not one answers the question." -unknown

"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to." -unknown

I asked a few other people too. :)
"True love is... when person You love also love You." -Saffella

"true love is ... A devastating wave... A sweet and bitter candy... A moment and an eternity... The way I sometimes look at you ... The blossoming feeling when I know we are just about to kiss.. My feeling when I see you leave... My joy when I can touch your skin once again... When I hear you laughing.. The way I felt on the first hour of our child... A scar that won't ever really disapear... The ability to forget and forgive, without knowing it ... A madness... and a blessing ... You ?" -Clay

↑↑
I'm not true love.
But the rest of the answer, I agree with. More than most answers, actually.

"True love is when you're willing to do anything for that person, even look past their faults and learn to love them entirely." -sk8rchik96

↑↑
I love her. haha.

"I don't know. True love to me is the same as apparitions, UFOs or Bigfeets. I have not personally seen or experienced these things but I do believe they exist and I have my own personal opinions about them (I also lump long term relationship under true love). If you ever do find out please journal it, I want to know! I want to believe" -Foxtrot
↑↑
I guess a lot of the time I feel the same way. I've experienced love. I've been IN love. True love...sometimes I wonder if it's the same as a UFO.

"It's hard to put into words. I really don't know how. It's something you have to feel to understand... It'll be worth the wait... I promise you. The best feeling in the world." -Sean

"You feel happy just being the two of you together, as if you could spend eternity with them, throughout thick and thin. Almost like no one else seems as if they could take their place." -Jordan (not egg head ex boyfriend)

"When you care for and love someone so much that it doesn't matter if they feel the same way. It doesn't even matter if they're in love with someone else. All that matters is that the person they are calls to your heart so much you wish them happy. No matter what that other person does, they can never hurt you because you love them so much. By my definition, Jesus had true love for humanity." -Jonathan

I told him that was one of the best answers I ever heard. He said,

"Well I like to think that you have to find someone that unlocks that holy, saint-like side of you. Someone who not only makes you selfless, but forces you to remove yourself from the equation completely. You only think of them and not about what you would lose or gain if they left or stayed. You just love them. There is no pain, no guilt, no envy. Only love."
↑↑
Damn. I want THAT.


I know. It's a lot of reading material, I'm sorry. Sometimes I just want to make sure it's possible. I want to be certain that my dream could come true. Maybe. One day.

Research on True Love: COMMENCE

So. What the HELL is true love? Becki has turned into the sexy detective to find out! Sexy because I think being a detective is sexy. Especially if you're Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes. Let's do some research!! :D [[Oh and by the way, I have not slept a WINK all night. It's thanksgiving day, so busy so busy and yet I've been up all night. I tried to sleep. But I was tossing and turning and eventually I just picked up a paper and pen and wrote and wrote and wrote. Now here I am.]] I went to the most reliable source on earth: Urbandictionary.com. I know, it's kind of a dumb website but when it comes to TRUE love, I guess we better work with opinions first before we try to find some facts. Anyhow. This is what I found. And it's fucking fantastic. "To define true love, would be to ruin it's purity, therefore, It has no definition. There isn't an example even Shakespeare could describe." ↑↑ Word. "When you drink a litre of coke before you go to bed just so you can lie awake all night thinking about her. 'It's true love, I stayed up all night on a caffeine high thinking about her.'" ↑↑ That one's just funny and I can't help it. :) "True love is being corny but really meaning it. " ↑↑ I can accept that. I love corny. [[This one is kind of long but it is my absolute favorite. YOU MUST READ IT.]] "farting in bed then laughing with each other if it smells bad, putting notes in random books at a bookstore, blowing up anthills and eating beef jerky, dancing with him while standing on his feet, taking her home when she throws up at school, then kissing her on the cheek and taking a nap with her, sitting on the floor at Hastings with Starbucks and looking at random books, buying pet rats just because you wanted to, buying her a big cup of ice from Sonic, not making him pay for everything, taking long drives and talking about random stuff, staring into each others eyes and smiling, taking 30 minutes to type a sweet long text message just to show that you care, carrying her inside when she falls asleep in your car, making fart noises on each others bellies, staring at them when the door is open in the classroom across the hall, talking in cute silly voices to each other with wide eyes, seeing her at her worst and still calling her beautiful, telling her to call you if she can't sleep no matter what time it is, not calling him because you want to let him sleep, still feeling the same spark you did at first every time you kiss, singing loudly together, roasting marshmallows for them just how they like them, walking barefoot outside in freezing cold weather because he wants to, playing Call of Duty with him even though you suck, and most of all, true love is being able to understand how the other feels without them even saying a word. What Corvin and Amber are experiencing is not just any old love, it's true love. :)" ↑↑ Is that not cute or what?!?! I really wish I could ask if Corvin and Amber if they're still together. I mean, that was posted in January, so you never know what could happen in almost a year. I hope they are. Me being the romantic I am, I always want to believe in true love. Let's look up soul mates shall we? "It's like what Aristotle says about true friendship: 'One soul in two bodies.' Not necessarily anything cheesy like you're "meant to be together" forever, but two people who compliment each other so well that it TRULY seems like they are one soul lingering in two bodies." ↑↑ Well. I have definitely never found my soul mate then. Because seriously, NOBODY really compliments my personality. It's pretty hard for anyone to understand my thoughts and gets along with me. "Two people that are supposedly perfect for each other and meant to be together forever. But for people who actually have a brain, the idea of "soul mates" is ridiculous. There are certain people who are right for you at certain times in your life. There isn't ONE person who you are always supposed to be with forever." ↑↑ Well that seems fucking negative! I've always thought having a soul mate was possible. Maybe I'm just hopeless. I still think this is super negative. I will definitely have to do more research. Probably check out some romance novels from the library. Romance novels rock anyways. Although they ARE completely fiction...damn it. I know, I'm fishing for excuses to read those stupid novels. Sorry. Let's get into focus again, come on, let's get real! Okay. So. I will post again when I've researched some more. Google just isn't going to cut it. Should I just go around about the street and ask people what True Love is? Probably not. Let's hear what you think first. And I'll get back to you. :)

Yeah, I know I do these too much.

Sorry. I'm just bored.

You

What is your full name:
EW. We're not even going there.

Spell your first name backwards:
ikceb

Date of birth:
Sep. 10

Nicknames:
Becki, Beeky, Beeky Weeky, Bexter, Rebecki, Bam Bam, Silly Girl, Duckie.

Occupation:
Full-time Dreamer

Age:
19

Pets:
Oh lord. I have four dogs.

Piercings:
I miss my monroe. :(

Tattoos:
A small umbrella on my back.

What are you listening to:
Rage Against the Machine!

How do you Feel:
I feel like crawling back into my bed.

What are you Eating or drinking:
I love eating babies.
And I love drinking whiskey.

Love

Have you ever been in love:
Sure have!

How many people have you said I LOVE YOU to:
not including friends? Hmmmm....6.

How many people have you had sex with:
Gettin a lil personal aren't we?

How many people have you kissed:
Like I could keep track!

Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex:
Yep, sure have.

How many people have you dated:
Four.

What do you look for in a guy or girl:
If they don't look like Keanu Reeves I keep walking.
TOTALLY KIDDING. lol haha.
I guess it depends!

Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex:
Whether or not they're smiling.

What type of guy or girl do you usually go for:
I don't have a type I usually go for, I've dated all kinds of guys.

Do you have a crush right now:
Yes.

If so who is it:
I'm not telling! BWAHAHAHA!

Do you believe in love at first sight:
Oh of course. I'm like a little girl who believes in fairy tales.

Do you remember your first love:
Josh.

Who is the first person you kissed:
Josh.

Do you believe in fate:
Sometimes I do.

Do you believe in soul mates:
Absolutely.

If so do you believe youll ever find yours:
Haha! The chances of ANYONE finding their soul mate is so small. I doubt it.

Family Stuff

Is your family close:
Fairly close, I would say.

Does your family get together for holidays:
For sure!

Do you have a drunk uncle:
I don't think so....but maybe. I have lots of aunts and uncles.

Any medical problems run through your family:
Nothing way serious. I mean, there's diabetes but I think that's about it.

Does someone in your family wear a toupee:
Nope.

Do you have any nieces or nephews:
Nope.

Has your family ever disowned another member of your family:
Haha I felt like they did when they sent me to rehab. Then I learned that they did it because they were worried about me.

Music Stuff

What song do you swear was written about you or your life:
I know I know I know by Tegan and Sara

Whats the most embarrassing cd you own:
Clay Aiken. Brittany left it at my house, I SWEAR.

Whats the best cd you own:
Haha. NSYNC, no strings attached! lol!

What song do you absolutely hate:
I don't know...a dumb one?

Do you sing in the shower:
Sometimes I do.

What song reminds you of that special someone:
I don't really have 'that special someone'.

Name A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs...

Pink: "How do I feel this good Sober?"
Aerosmith: Uuuuh I don't know
Madonna: Don't listen to her
Korn: Can't think of one at the moment
Backstreet Boys: Can't think of one at the moment.
The Beatles: "I am the Walrus Koo koo ka chu koo koo ka chu!"
*Nsync: "And no matter what I do I feel the pain...when I'm without you! Bom bom do bom bom!" Okay sorry, I got carried away with that one.
Limp Bizkit: "I got a chainsaw...I'll skin your ass raw."
Stacie Orrico: Who is that?! lol
Creed: Can't think of one.
Britany Spears: "Hit me baby one more time"...that was far too easy.
Good Charlotte: "The Ghost of you is all that I have left, it's all that I have left of you to hold."
Christina Aguilera: "I'm a genie in a bottle, baby gotta rub me the right way honey."
Eminem: "This looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me."
Kelly Osbourne: Idk
Mandy Moore: Idk
Eve: Who?! lol
Aaliyah: again...who?!
Nelly: idk
Alicia Keys: I don't like her!


Favorites

Color: Green green green!
Food: Babies.
Song: Right now it's 'Happy Ending' by Tech N9ne
Show: Arthur Read!
School subject: English
Band or singer or artist: Led Zeppelin
Animal: Elephant
Outfit: Anything that makes me look like I'm seven years old.
Radio station: Meh. Don't really listen to it that often.
Movie: The Little Mermaid!
Pair of shoes: Ones that fit?
Cartoon: Metalocalypse.
Actor: Keanu Reeves. Just cuz he's hot.
Actress: Don't have one.
Potato chip: One I get to eat.
Drink: Whiskey.
Soda: Dr. Pepper
Holiday: Christmas!
Perfume or cologne: Cucumber Melon
Pizza topping: Mushrooms!
Jello flavor: Red?
Lunch meat: Joey's meat (wink wink) WAS THAT DIRTY OR WHAT?! LOL!
Card Game: Rummy. :)
Video game: Uuuuh. Grand Theft Auto!
Website: Deviantart.com =] Go look at my photography, bitch!
Book: A Dog Called Kitty
Computer game: SIMS!
Number: 9
Cereal: Honey Bunches of Oats
Comedian: Jim Carrey
Dessert: Cookies and Milk fasho!
Disney character: Goofy, probably.
Clothing store: any thrift store.
Past time: making bracelets and blogging.
Candy bar: Twix
Magazine: I don't like them, really.
Thing to do on the weekend: Pretend I don't have emotional problems while I drink them away.
Person to talk to online: Leonard bwahahaha

Your Bedroom or Sleeping Habits

What color are your sheets:
white

What color are your bedroom walls:
white, but you can't see them.

Do you have posters on your wall:
record covers.

If so of what:
ZZ top, Kansas, Chicago, The Police, Led Zeppelin, blink 182, rolling stones, Pat Benetar, Sheena Easton, Eric Clapton, and much more.

Do you have a tv in your bedroom:
Yes, but it only plays movies. But i'm okay with that.

How many pillows are on your bed:
Like 6

What do you normally sleep in:
Whatever I feel like lol

Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom:
Nope

Describe the last nightmare you had:
I had to punch sharks in the face to keep them from eating me.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals:
Two. Arthur my pound puppy and the random teddy bear.

How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed:
Depends on what makes others comfortable. lol

How many people have slept in your bed at the same time:
2, but we just napped.

Any unusual sleeping positions:
Doggy style. LOL just kiddin!

Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling:
No, but sometimes I share with Sparks, my puppy.

Whats under your bed:
Oh lord. I don't think you wanna know.

This or that

loser or wannabe:
I'm already a wannabe loser. hahaha.

Doughnuts or bagels:
Doughnuts...mmmmm!

Day or night:
Night. Most definitely.

Heaven or hell:
both.

Make love or have sex:
Make love.

Hamburgers or hotdogs:
hamburgers, I'm allergic to hotdogs.

Rap or rock:
rock, all the way.

Britney or Christina:
They're both stupid.

Punk or emo:
Metal!

Spring or fall:
Spring.

Colored pictures or black and white photos:
Colored, but black and white can be good.

Commercials or infomercials:
INFOMERCIALS!

Scary movies or comedies:
Scary. For sure. Then you get to grab onto the cute guy and pretend you're scared! ;)

Bikinis or one piece bathing suits:
Either one.

Sandals or tennis shoes:
Chucks.

Dogs or cats:
Dogs

Unicorns or fairies:
Fairies. :)

Water or land:
land

Colored christmas lights or regular white christmas lights:
Blue!

Cars or trucks:
I don't give a shiiiit.

Austin Powers or James Bond:
James Bond. I've never seen Austin Powers.

Passionate kiss or peck:
passionate, DUH.

WWE wrestling or real wrestling:
UFC.

Back rub or foot massage:
neck rub.

Picture frames or photo albums:
Both!

Pens or pencils:
pens!

What Is Your Opinion Of The Following

Eminem: He's a badass!
Virgins: Wish I was one!
God: He's a badass!
The Osbournes: Eh.
Reality TV: Bleck!
J.Lo: She's cool I guess.
Religion: Is a good thing.
Emo music: Is usually lame.
Valentines Day: Sucks!
Christina Aguileras comeback: She had a comeback!?
Homosexuals: They're people too.
Abortion: Should not be done.
Inter-racial relationships: They're people too.
Murder: Is bullshit.
Death: Scares me.
Obesity: Happens.
Pre-marital sex: Be careful.
Terrorism: Sucks.
Pornography: Eh.
Fortune Tellers: need to get a new day job.
Threesomes: Shouldn't happen.
Prostitution: That's sad.
Politics: BORING!
Country music: Gross.
George W. Bush: Gross.
Cloning: HAHAHA! Oh wow. My dream.
Britneys boobs: Why would I care?
Gas prices in America: I don't care cuz I don't drive. Haha suckers!

What or Who Do You Think Of When You Hear These Names?

Jack: That kid I went to gradeschool with.
Tiffany: Plays the violin.
Ben: Bad memory.
Maria: Family Guy.
Jennifer: My aunt.
Nicole: Lifeline.
Amy: No one.
Adam: Lives a couple blocks away.
Richard: Is Adam's dad!
Arnold: Get to the choppa!
Tom: Tiger!
Melissa: Day!
Charlotte: Hella good charlotte!
Harold: An old man. haha.
John: My uncle
Joel: Good Charlotte's singer.
Vanessa: a girl?
Michelle: Charli's cousin.
Kevin: MR. FAUCETT!
Brent: Brently! Mr. Apple!
Jake: Ew.
Billy: HAHAHA!
Sarah: Miss her.
Natalie: Older sister.
Christy: 'aunt'.
Nick: Roddy?
Linda: Talked to her the other day.
Taylor: North bwahaha.
Jordan: ew, exboyfriend.
Jamie: Is cute.
Adrian: Lives a couple blocks away.

Have You Ever....

Mooned anyone:
I think so.

Been on a diet:
Kinda.

Been to a foreign country:
nope.

Broken a bone:
My foot when I fell down a forty foot tunnel.

Swallowed a tooth or cap or filling:
Nope.

Swear at a teacher:
Just under my breath.

Got in a fight:
Sure.

Dated a teacher:
Ew no.

Laughed so hard you peed your pants:
Hell fuckin yeah!

Thought about killing your enemy:
I don't really have an enemy.

Gone skinny dipping:
I wish!

Dated one of your best friends:
Nope.

Loved someone so much it makes you cry:
Of course.

Deceived somebody close to you:
Yes.

Broken the law:
I got arrested once.

Been to a rodeo:
Yup. It was kewl.

Came close to dying:
2 times in one day!

Cheated on a bf or gf:
Never.

Terrorized a babysitter:
Nope.

Made a mud pie:
yup.

Been so drunk you dont remember your name:
Probably.

Had an eating disorder:
Nope.

Felt like you didnt belong:
Duh. Of course.

Smoked:
yup.

Been arrested:
yup.

Won a bet:
Yeah! I won a soda!

Written a love letter:
Sure have.

Kissed in the rain:
Awh!

Slow danced with someone you love:
<3

Participated in an orgy:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.

Asked a friend for relationship advice:
Sure.

Had a friend steal your bf or gf:
Naaah, you can't STEAL my boyfriend. Unless he wants to be stolen. And in that case, he shouldn't even be with me.

Watched the sunset or rise with someone you love:
Sure.

Failed or got held back:
Yes.

Taken ballet or karate lessons:
Ballet

Cut yourself:
Sadly, I was that retarded.

Randomness

Do you believe in aliens:
Sure. Kinda.

Name three things that are next to your computer:
empty coke can, phone, and my bible.

Do you have any hidden talents:
If they are hidden, how do I know about them? lol jk no I don't

Do you wish MTV would play music videos:
I don't watch mtv

If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be:
A chick flick with a hot dude i got to kiss.

Whats the scariest movie youve ever seen:
The Decent

What is the dumbest movie youve ever seen:
Freddie Got Fingered

Do you drive:
No freakin way man!

What is your dream car:
A bumper car

Do you think your good looking:
Sometimes I do

Do others think you are good looking:
Some say.

Would you ever sky dive:
NO!

Do you believe in Bigfoot:
HAHAHA!

Do you believe in God:
Sure do.

Do you believe in Satan:
He probably exists. I don't think about him very often though.

Do you like chocolate:
Yes.

Ever wished on a shooting star:
Yes, I believe in magic.

What is your weakness:
Chips and dip or french fries.

Name something you cant get enough of:
Cuddling. I can never get enough of it.

Describe yourself in 3 adjectives:
Psycho, Crazy, Loving

How many kids do you want to have:
DUDE like TEN!

How do you release stress:
Kill people.

Do you consider yourself a trendy person:
If you consider little kids that can't dress themselves 'trendy', then yes.

Are you an artisitic person:
I like to think so.

Are you a strong willed person:
nope.

What do you believe is your best quality:
My bracelet-making skills!

What is your greatest accomplishment:
Not killing myself so far in life.

Lets say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money?:
hit every thrift store in town. and then buy my mommy a new house.

Worst feeling in the world?
Depression.

Best feeling in the world:
Happiness.

Is the glass half empty or half full:
As long as there's whiskey in it, I don't give a shit.

What do you think people think of you:
"God, she's obnoxious."

Do you need therapy:
Desperately.

Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance:
I need more.