Root Canal

Yeah, I know I look terrible, but still. 

Putting on chap stick has never been more difficult in my life.

I've never had a root canal before, so I was pretty nervous when I went in. The fact that my dentist is a total babe is nice though. It's probably just DDS. Dreamy Doctor Syndrome: He's just a totally normal guy, but the fact that he's a doctor, and I'm all drugged up, makes him super hot.

Anyways, I took a valium before my appointment. I would've been freakin the fuck out if I had gone in without it. I don't do well with the scraping and the drilling, and the shots, and eeeeuugh! Just no!

They made sure I was comfortable though and I suffered through it. I thought it was no big deal, that i would be totally fine afterwards.

But my head is going to explode and the pain pills make me nauseated. Plus I can only eat on one side of my mouth. It takes me half an hour to eat a fucking sammich!

So the recovery sucks balls. I just can't wait for it to be over. I go back in two weeks for my new tooth. Ugh. Kill me now.

Becki Bible: April 2011

Click Here For Other Becki Bible Excerpts

April 2, 2011
"Why don't you take a step back, take off your gladiator sandals, and we'll talk about this." -Robert

April 3, 2011
"I like saggy necks. I don't care how weird that sounds." -Africa
"Life is funny." -Africa

April 8, 2011
"I don't have drugs, we're not prostitutes, and we're gonna miss our train!" -Africa

•I fucking hate automatic toilets that flush when I'm not done peeing.

Adrianna: I really hope I don't get the crawlies
Me: CRABS?!

Adrianna: Just watch. He's not gonna wash his hands.
Me: *gasp* HE'S THE ONE!

April 10, 2011
"Reefus pups, reefus pups!" -Me
"Phil Collins is driving with his knees!" -Africa
"I've never sang Adam Lambert to a cow before." -Africa

Adrianna: Look how drunk you are in this picture!"
Me: Holy fuck! It's time to look like that again!

"If I drink enough beer, I won't feel my uterus anymore." -Me
"This jews is cold on my thighs." -Me
"Have patience, my glass hopper." -Mr. Kallas
"Bump my ass?" -Adrianna
"Walk! It's okay! Come on!" -Doyle

April 12, 2011
•How can one be so oblivious? Seriously?!

Africa: I'm an extreme driver.
Me: I'm an extreme passenger.

"I like your big toe." -Me

Watching basketball, hating on Kobe and brewskis with the wife. That's all I need! I'm set!

"I see you peed yourself today." -Africa
"I wanted to be friends, but all I got is fuckin Leo Sher! That bitch." -Africa
"Eerie wicky." -Africa
"No need to get all ranchy!" -Africa

Me: The mirrors in the bathroom make you look fat.
Adrianna: I'm glad they don't lie. Like Shakira's hips.

April 21, 2011
Had a discussion with a friend today-
Me: OMG GUESS WHAT.
Him: Hmm?
Me: I think I have a tumor on my face.
Him: Becki...we've been over this...that's your nose.
Me: No, I'm being serious! It's this weird lump-
Him: That's your nose.
Me: Shut upt! It's a weird lump that really hurts and it's right by my eye-
Him: That's definitely your nose.
Me: I'm gonna fucking kill you.

April 26, 2011
Me: How was your shave?
Africa: It was horrible. I hate that ADTR song.

FourFuckinTwentySeven, 2011
I just saw the most gorgeous man ever. Eating cake.
"It's not sex if it's plastic." -Robert

April 28, 2011
Derek: So Becki, you got a job yet.
Me: No.
Robert: It's called friendship, it's a full-time job!

Meat loaf

It's been awhile. Not like lots of people read my blogs. Dave said it's good for me though. :) So...moving on from Eldon is pretty hard. Did we really only last 5 months? Damn. I thought for sure we'd last a lot longer than that! I used to be able to see us getting married and stuff. You know. The whole, making babies. i kiss him on the cheek as he leaves for work. hand him his lunch and his briefcase. Say, "Have a good day at work, hun." Then when he gets home from work I'll jump his bones. HAHA just kidding that's not what i was going to say. What i was going to say was when he gets home from work, I'll give him another kiss and say, "How was work?" And he'll probably say, "Ugh, it was horrible. My neck is so sore." And then I'll reply, "Well i have your favorite in the oven. Meat loaf!" I don't know who the lucky guy is gonna be, but he better like meat loaf! My best friend Robert has been extremely helpful throughout these past two weeks that have been really hard for me. Luckily i didn't do anything extremely stupid. Just kinda. I don't really feel like explaining what it is here, but Eldon was disappointed. BLAH! Boys suck anyways. They don't shower enough. Hmmm...any other updates...currently looking for a job...and having no luck.
OH! Funny story. I'll try to make it quick.
Okay so it was Robert, Samson, Trever, Emma, and Me hanging out. We decided to go to Denny's and pretend that we were a touring heavy metal band from England. Things did NOT go as planned. Samson, who is actually from Scotland and has an incredible accent, faked spilling his coffee and yelled, "GODDAMMIT!" in a scottish accent. It was hilarious. And he said his accent comes out better if he's angry, so he turns around in the booth and starts staring down these two guys in a booth across the diner. He's hoping they'll flip him off or confront him to make him mad. Instead, the two men lean over and kiss, freaking Samson out. Samson whirls at Trever and goes,"SEE?! I wouldn't be so freaked if you hadn't made all those homo jokes on the way here!" We're all laughing at the whole spilled coffee and gay couple incident, when a young girl walks in and sits in the booth by us, all by herself. Samson is up to no good of course, leans across the table and says, "Watch this. I'm going to hit on that girl." He turns around in the booth and goes, "Hey. How's it goin?" When all of a sudden, a large black man walks into the diner towards us...and sits down with the girl who happened to be his girlfriend. BUSTED! Samson apologizes and he turns around to Robert and says in a very low voice, "Why didn't you say anything?!" But robert couldn't say anything. He was laughing so hard he was smashing his face on the table and started tearing up. Samson is a little freaked at the moment. "You guys! It's not funny! I'm gonna get shot!"
I don't think anyone at the diner believed we were from England. They probably all just thought we were obnoxious teenagers. Which we are. :)
Anyways.

That's all for now. It's been real!